A New Black Jack

"I need a new black jack," announced Marie to her husband.
"What happened to the old black jack?" he asked from behind his newspaper.
"It's old and unsightly," she answered. "I must have a new black jack before my bridge party next week."
Will finally put his newspaper down. "You must have a new black jack before your bridge party?" he echoed. "First, what bridge party, and second, why?"
"You knew I was having a bridge party next week. I told you a month ago. And I absolutely must have a new black jack before then. If I don't I will surely die." Marie put her hand to her throat.

Dying for a Black Jack

"You will surely die." Willy shook his head. "Why is is so important to have a new black jack before the bridge party next week?"
"I knew you wouldn't understand! You never understand! You just want everyone to laugh at me! I'll be the only one without a new black jack and everyone will laugh at me and then you'll be happy!" Marie was wailing.
"Now, now dear. Don't cry. I didn't say you couldn't have one. How much do you think one would cost?" Willy put his hand in his pocket.
"$12.99 plus tax. Thank you dear." And Marie walked off with her husband's wallet.